NewColor

its my room~
i finally free to repaint my room

me n mom argue for de color, been a while
she say de place i study mz b green
n girls room should b in purple
den i was matching purple n green.. n it looks.. er..
although look nice in design, bt i cant imagine it in my room

so at d end.. herez de color

be4 showing de outcome~
herez some progress
working time- 23 apr 2.30pm-12.00am
24 10.30am-5.30pm, 7.00pm-11.00pm

de room, before anything
mess lik hell ._.


material:
1.paints (7L maxilite for bass. KCC a korea brand, i use mix color which is nt in cataloge)
2.7" roller
3.1 1/2 paint brush
4.paint tray
5.2" scraper
6.wall filla (to fix de hole n crack)
7.muskin tape
8.newspaper/canvas
9.thinner (actualy nt really using it nah, is water paint)
10.curtain rod (to replace paint rod)

after de white bass, Maxilite 7L

so.. after hours n hours workin on it..

EMPTY neh~ ofcoz nah..
haven move in furniture yet mah~

ta-da~ here is it.
Feel FRESH n exciting, lik move into new house(room)
anywayz.. there stil things i haven really clean up

time for bed~

Reason of cried

is falling for de song i listen to
or i cried for myself
or jz a emotion
or stress



m now a bit confuse.







can i hav a day without any scold?
can i know de reason, answer of wh-y?

Clock.

my lappy is getting sot n sotz
streamyx line is getting suck n suckz

it is now 13 Apr 09, 10.00pm
bt my lappy is 12 Apr 09, 1.06am
i wonder wad happen to it
- - it is nt functioning for few dayz d..
i m so rely on it.. .__.
since my room did not hav any clock..

feel lik reformat my lappy too..
but i dun dare
worry tat i cant use my adobe tools
i would rather go suicide instead of cant use dem
really -___-


haiz..
been protectin him well for 1 n half yr le...


*addicated to Usher, What's A Man To Do. nice*

2 stress? 2 Strict.

IGNORE. tis post. itz abt some thing bad abt ppl ._.
i jz wanna SHOUT it out.

is nice to have some 1 help me while working
lift heavy stuff, handing me things, climb up etc
but it is not tat nice when come to "educate", or communicate

been 2yrz workin there, since mar 07.
according to my boss, she treat/train me de hardest
thankz to her, i learn a lot n learn faster
since being a full time student, i work as part time
able 2 handle de store.. even alone.

now.. as a senior (._.) i hav to train newbiez too..
n wad ever dey had done.. is my responsible too
to check.. n confirm.. else, i m de 1 who kena shoot
-_- i cant take n do/finish dem all by myself
if i done myself.. then dey learn nth...
bit hard for d balancing...

i bcom a bit(or more) strict when comes to work
i trust a guy, which is workin there for almost 4monthz d
i though he might ok to handle things.. no need 2 worry
-_- but i was wrong..
i dint look down on him.. even though his eng is weak
bt tat is ok, stil can learn mah.. slowly ba..
he kind of gentle, he is nt allow me to lift heavy stuff
he is tall, a bit of good looking, kind
mature thinkin(some times) bt nt actioning

i m so not ok when..
1. teachin him de correct way..
he is nt accepting.. n said i alwayz say nonsense...

2. he said i m so hard to communicate with
i admit i m a bit fierce while i m workin..
n i m weird some times

3. he said i m nt talkin to him (dislike him)
while he ask abt my privacy stuff ( friends, family wadever)
i m nt came for chatting... i jz separate work, private clearly

4. he went out 4 (breakfast.yamcha.) long/
when his friend(1 of de customer, almost same age) came..
he chat wit him n ignore de work.. almost every day

5. RESPONSIBLE!!
he is actually ok.. but when encounter some problems..
he will throw it to me, or ignore it.. or simply go through it
seriously.. i rather he ask me more den he simply doin it
or i do myself.. rather den i need to work double

6. while request him to do better..
he answer me:
" u understand right? den OK d la!"
"aiya.. boss know de la"
"no need la"
i wonder.. does he know wad de boss wanz?
she really wan perfect gaogao nor -_-
i kena shoot for many times bcoz of imperfect

7. he said.. i m selfish..
coz i m nt helping him to find stuff...
hell ya -_-.. he lost it, so his respobsible to found it back ba?
if i help, n found. is tat ok? i m not ok when comes to work
he do not know/realize tat i've take care some part for him

8. de things tat i cant take most which is..
he said:
"study for wad la, work for wad la! go find a rich hubby marry mah ok d lo"
-__- .. thankz for de concern.. but i m not tat kind of girl
i m nt thinkin abt marriage or couple for now

"go find d bf/love la. it makez u happier while u work"
i was like.. wad de.. is therez any relation between work n love?

"change ur attitude la"
"u wun hav bf if u hav tat hot temper lo"
"u alwayz black face, live happy la. u nt san fu meh"
i know it is good advice. but i dun lik de way he tell me
i dun need him to critic my life without knowing me


these few dayz/week
therez lot argue between me n him
-_- therez once i almost cry out. realy cant tahan nor
gek die me
i admit i've wrong too, at least i know how 2 fix it
i admit my mistake n i remember de words

my friend told me, guy mah.. need some face
den prove to me nah.. den i wun critic
anywayz.. mayb i m to strict too huh?
lack of patient? tolerance? kind? friendly?

-_- wat u expect when u go to work..




ish..

n i alwayz wonder.. y those whom work there..
so free 1? stil gt free time go smoke go yam cha
-_- y i work there.. endless work 1..?
read newspaper also no time -.-
except lately XD



feeling bad.
i will b leaving, a.s.a.p. -_-
talk less, argue less. PEACE

Bipolar Disorder

Depression survey from my friend

http://befriendersurvey.blogspot.com/

=D go n try it out.
so u understand more wadz happenin on urself.

-_- i score de 2nd highest..

4. Bipolar Disorder (31m~39m)
* i m 32 *

The first stage signs are:
· Withdrawal from friends and family
· Low self-esteem and lack of confidence
· Sleeping for long periods and still feeling tired
· Start Having suicidal thoughts
· Cries easily without apparent cause

The second stage signs are
· Lack of concentration
· Increased sex drive
· Alcohol or substance abuse
· Obvious agitation



.__.
Depression is serious and if you score moderate or high depression
please see a doctor and consider some of the tool and you are suggested call to
BEFRIENDER 24-HOUR HOTLINE 03-795681445 to get a counseling
because after all's said and done it's up to you to deal yourself!


so.. i m on in huh...

清明节

每年的这个时期
亲戚好友都会回家乡扫墓拜拜之类的
大概只有我 还会在雪州 没有地方可去
连家乡也在雪州

有时候反而会羡慕其他人可以去扫墓

而我
没有墓可扫
爸爸那边的亲戚 我有多久没见过了?
连自己亲生的爸爸.. 有多久没见过了?
8年? 9年? 我自己也不知道了
仿佛连他的样子也已经模糊


身为孙子的我
奶奶去世了2年的消息 竟然今年才知道

当奶奶还在世上的时候
新年期间曾经打电话叫我和哥哥回去
可是.. 我们俩并没有出现
我, 后悔了 却已来不及了
现在也没能去拜拜, 给她老人家上过香
我知道我的不孝, 只是我有我的苦衷
我相信她老人家不会怪我的

虽然小时候也不常到他们家..
但是... 我
记得奶奶以前很疼我， 称赞我乖
记得爷爷也很疼我，把他收藏的茶壶送了给我
记得爷爷奶奶的家 外面有个木搭的亭子 种满了花
踏进门口有一张圆圆的木桌子
转个弯 会看到厨房和吃饭桌
还有一个阁楼放杂物
厨房的旁边有空地 养了几只狗

唯独是他们的样子， 我记不住
也没有他们的照片
只记得 爷爷奶奶大寿的时候
有很多人一起庆祝
会有很多堂兄弟妹在一起 很开心



回忆, 停留在10岁
没再更新了..
奶奶 对不起